migraines and health

I had a rough weekend with a migraine.  I had learned to control my migraines by recognizing when I would get one and then I would lie down for a couple hours if possible and it would go away.  This one was different though.  It started differently so it kinda caught me off guard.  I really hate migraines,  they are really, really awful, but I know they will pass although in the midst of it I don’t care about anything except just hoping it will subside.  And when it finally does subside, it is such a relief.  I am really, really grateful for my health.  There have been times when I just haven’t felt good, I’ve spent time and energy on healthy eating and juicing and cleansing, I’ve exercised ever since high school sports.  I really like being able to do things and run and keep up with my responsibilities.  I had a paralyzed arm for 6 months when I was 16, I hated being sick when I was pregnant and then I hated not being able to move around when I was big and pregnant and even more so when I was pregnant with twins.  Once my arm healed from being paralyzed, I felt that I should not have a reason to be sad again, because no matter what, my arm worked.  After my pregnancies I felt I understood obese people better, it was just so hard to move around, and after the twin pregnancy, I felt I understood what it must feel like to have a terminal illness, not because I was in pain which would be awful, but just because I was unable to do regular tasks like pick up toys off the floor and wash dishes standing up, plus at the end my legs started to swell and I could just barely walk very very slowly.  We take so much for granted when we are healthy, we don’t even realize what we’ve got til it’s gone.  I have now borne 8 children, 7 full term pregnancies including a twin pregnancy, and I am getting older and my body and my soul got worn out.  Migraines are just my body telling me to slow down.  I had to slow down A LOT last summer, but I started to heal slowly and it feels so good to be able to do more again.  But I still have to rest at times and not do too much and remember to be easy on myself and say “no” if it will be too much.  I think I just got stressed with all my to dos and thinking about school starting in a couple weeks– if only summer could last a little longer.  I still have to rest and take time for myself and the rest will fall into place.  There is also nothing like pain to turn a person to God.  In the pain of my migraine I was praying for relief and if I could not have relief, then comfort.  I asked my husband for a priesthood blessing because it was so bad, and that gave me hope.  I am glad for such a thing as faith, I choose to believe– it is certainly not intellectual, but it gives me hope and brings me peace.  So even out of the rotten, I can find a little bit of good.  And that is a good thing!  


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